Hello and Welcome to our first ever segment of Ask Dr.Mac and the Love Doc answers!
And for our early bird I have received a comment post with a letter in it in just 2 days after this sites' been up. Talk about fast, and so he so unanimously deserves to be my first ever letter sender and he will receive first hand the answer to his queries.
You too can join and be a part of the discussions by commenting on the Love advices segments. We are going to answer 2-3 letters a week so if I receive a bundle, it means that the line to the Doc's office will be long and your queries will have to wait.
For a free "based on real life" no kidding professional like advices, tips and Love topics, Just ask the Love Doctor, Doctor Coolmac No P.H.D. Mail me or indicate in a comment a quoted letter, then go get a number in the front desk and wait for your number to be called. ^_^.
The email is coolmacpaul@yahoo.com
And now to our patient:
let's just call him by name Junior. This letter is by no way edited what so ever to show you I never sugar coat stuff in my clinic, if times do arise to provide clarification to your letters and stuff, I will do so by putting the translation, correction and clarification inside a brace comment [ edited stuff here ] so still your stuff will be left unedited and your creative way of expressing yourself still intact!
Good day love doctor,
I have this crush for such a long time now.
Since i was committed back then, i dont nurse the feeling that i think im falling for her.
When i went to a get together last night, to my surprise she was there.
Its actually my/our first time to meet in a get together/drinking session
so i was a bit hesitant to make a move.
I dont want to be like arrogant and cocky in her eyes since its just our first time.
I didnt ask for her cell number w/c i could have done coz i can remember her
saying, "at last somebody texted me".
From that i could have simply as for her number but again, [could you prolly mean "ASK"?]
i dont want to be quick. Also shes telling her friends that she wants to eat this and that,
i could have accompany her to eat but then again i dont want to be quick again.
My main concern here is im having doubts that ill pass on her standards.
She got brains and beauty. I mean, she a teacher.
I dont know if i can coupe up with her "intellectuality" [coping a feel? don't be a perv. oops you meant to say compete there eh mate?]
and i dont want to act smart and just be plain stupid in the end.
Any tips on how to break those barriers?
Hope you can help me.
Jr.
"shyness the only barrier to shagness"
Good day love doctor,
I have this crush for such a long time now.
Since i was committed back then, i dont nurse the feeling that i think im falling for her.
A crush is a crush, commitment is a different thing. You don't need to nurse a crush feeling because to tell you the basic thing, you just like the girl. She falls into your "attractive" category so no problem there. It's pretty normal to have people of the opposite sex as our "crush, fantasy or attracted to". Yeah really, it's not cheating nor immoral. It's a basic human feeling.
When i went to a get together last night, to my surprise she was there.
Its actually my/our first time to meet in a get together/drinking session
so i was a bit hesitant to make a move.
Many believe in destiny, and it's funny how timing can play a major part in some people lives, but most of the time people just over react. So what if you saw her there? or She bumped into you in a train? or if you and her suddenly showed up in a work interview? The truth is we all live in planet earth, and earth, although a gigantic piece of a planet houses all humans, the possibility of meeting someone we knew somewhere, some place and sometime is not ZERO! unless if she lives in Mars. The big problem is in the last part of your dissected letter,
so i was a bit hesitant to make a move.
Why? Don't you want to get to talk to her again after all these time? Why were you so hesitant? To make yourself feel all so confident again you resort to the "destiny" trick, the " oh we finally met again after such a long time crap!" Next time, when it comes to this so called "chances" we as MEN must not hesitate. I will explain the importance of taking things into your hand in future posts of mine, but for now if you consider yourself a MAN, don't hesitate! Always GO FOR IT, GO FOR THE KILL! ehem I mean GO FOR THE GOAL! Losers hesitate, Winners never wait!
I dont want to be like arrogant and cocky in her eyes since its just our first time.
I didnt ask for her cell number w/c i could have done coz i can remember her
saying, "at last somebody texted me".
Now this is confusing, if you mean to say that this is your first time to be close to her in a conversation type of way, then you won't look arrogant and cocky! but if this is the second or the many times she have seen you in a lifetime, then maybe not talking to her makes you arrogant and cocky! To all MEN reading this, the notion that girls think that a guy that approaches women with confidence and style is purely A MYTH. When women say "Wow you're so cocky!" these are defensive measures and can swing both ways. Women when approached by a guy can only think of 2 things she can either have a good thought or a bad thought. So when she say you're cocky or act like you are some fresh, cocky and overconfident dude, she can only be thinking 2 things The good = if you fall for this, then you're not man enough" and the bad = "My God what a jerk!". The latter only applies to real jerks [ see the MV of Pretty Fly for a White Guy ] and from the way I read you Junior I hope you don't fall into that category, Women make tests to see if the men in front of them is really that MANLY enough to be attractive, I will explain more about this in future posts, for now all you need to know is you won't look arrogant and cocky if you approach your crush.
I didnt ask for her cell number w/c i could have done coz i can remember her
saying, "at last somebody texted me".
From that i could have simply as for her number but again,
i dont want to be quick. Also shes telling her friends that she wants to eat this and that,
i could have accompany her to eat but then again i dont want to be quick again.
All these assumptions and confusions are a direct results from what I said previously. All your questions and assumptions can be summarized into one whole sentence: "WHY OH WHY DIDN'T I APPROACH HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.??? [insert regret, regret regret here and more regrets here"]
My main concern here is im having doubts that ill pass on her standards.
She got brains and beauty. I mean, she a teacher.
I dont know if i can coupe up with her "intellectuality" [coping a feel? don't be a perv. oops you meant to say compete there eh mate?]
and i dont want to act smart and just be plain stupid in the end.
Any tips on how to break those barriers?
Hope you can help me.
Now I find this part really funny and sorry if I had to laugh out hard at them Junior, but I guess it's the only way to show you the hard truth and hard facts of the Society today.
My main concern here is im having doubts that ill pass on her standards.
Well you won't pass anyway if you won't take her test, and the way to fill up for the entrance exams is to go talk to her period.
She got brains and beauty. I mean, she a teacher.
Don't tell me you got no brains? You an alien? of course not, SO what if she's a professional? there are some out there who married a model/actress/millionaire and they are just plain guys or worse yet, sleazy bum holes of society. This ain't an excuse man.
I dont know if i can coupe up with her "intellectuality"
and i dont want to act smart and just be plain stupid in the end.
This is no time to compare GPA's and SAT's, this is life, in life brain will mostly get you on top but staying on top takes more that that, if you think negatively always then there will be less hope for you, A MAN is a man of confidence and HE WON'T show his weakness ever. If you think she is more intelligent than you, then it's time to show her that you're wiser and streetsmarter than her. Or you can share your life's adventure which can peak her interest at you. It's all about getting her to talk with you. Your goal here is to get her to talk to you, and not by the phone or by texting, But real face to face chat. I will provide tips on this later.
Any tips on how to break those barriers?
Hope you can help me.
I do have tips and it will follow on the next segments to come here in our site so you better be on your toes and check on here always
And I can only do so much to help you, but everything is still in your hands and how you handle the next situations to come.
For better help I will give you some sample advice so you will gain confidence in approaching a girl.
get her to talk to you
1. Look Good Feel Good
Groom your self, read my grooming posts, then practice at a mirror the way you talk, walk and interact. If you have time watch some James Bond films and copy the way Mr. Bond handles himself when talking to women.
2. Walk the walk
A real man walks with confidence, no slouching and crouching, not so fast, not so slow. Learn it! Relax.
3. Talk the talk
A real man talk with confidence, not so fast, not so slow, not so loud and absolutely not so soft! Also talking comes with eye to eye contact and no cleavage peeking for crying out loud.
4. Mannerisms and gestures
A real man is not careless but takes calculated/simulated/fully automated and confident moves. The man with the right moves will magnetize chics in a snap of a finger. The best example I can show you is James Bond and the worse can be The Hunchback of Notre Dam. Borat seems to be getting there but Boy George is what to avoid in copying good gestures and mannerisms.
5. Lastly Everything is believable
A real man looks like HE CAN BE TRUSTED! and not like a con-artist or someone who will rape a girl due to his super confidence. In other words HE WON'T APPEAR FAKE AT ALL. This takes practice mind you, so what are you waiting for, practice them all now.
And once you got the hang of it, try approaching your friends with your newly found confidence, they will be the first to notice your change, then try approaching and talking to someone you knew but never get the chance to be close. Any age will do. Any family member or close relative that you haven't got the chance to talk or interact with will be great practice.
Remember your first step is confidence and self-esteem.
Here's an additional tip, Women always notices the men's height first, so if you are tall then you are already above the rest, if not then you will have to work on the second thing they notice about us and that's our gestures/mannerisms. I will work on the psychology of the women's mind as well as the men's mind in the future posts.
For what i have read from your letter Junior it looks like you haven't made any of the two above. As we put our selves on sale for the rest of the world those two stuff is our marketing slogans and advertisements.
Hope some of my comments here will help you gain confidence as this is the only stuff customizable and can be improved through practice. Your face and Height and body built requires much hardwork and operations to change but your confidence is just improveable in 2 weeks minimum in my "experience"
Till next time goodluck!
keywords: women, men mannerisms and gestures, crush, self-esteem, confidence, Tips
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