Hello dear readers of the Love Doctor Blog.
Today we are going to answer a letter from a confused 15 year old girl. She emailed me last month about her problem with her boyfriend. The letter is below. Enjoy and happy reading.
Hey love doctor. I'm Aura, im 15 and people may say that I'm to0 young to be in love but in my heart i know that i love my boyfriend with all my might. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 1 months and some days. I love him, but sometimes all we do is argue and argue. He doubts me at times, and he is also real jealous. I dont know why we argue so much. I wish that i had a solution to this problem.
I don't want to loose him and when we argue all hell goes loose. Um.. me and him have ben through ALOT, there's no explanation to what we have gone through. I've always been there for him and he has always been there for me. OUr live's are rough. My parents love him and his parents love us being together. When people see us they stare and say that we will be together an eternity, and teachers love watching us be together. They know that we keep each other happy at time's and if we don't then its not right. If i'm not with him for a day or if i dont see him it makes me down and sad. I've been going through alot of emotional break downs, and i know that they are not healthy.
Sometimes i give up on Chris(my boyfriend). We have plans on wanting to be together and when we get out of college be together and live a long life together. But waitt... thats not it. Sometimes things can go like peaches and cream and then like a dog and a cat. I broke up with him today and told him that i was tired of his shit.
But i broke down crying because i need him we share out thoughts, spirits, emotions, and most of all love and heart together. He called me and asked me if i was still his wife that he loved me and that he dosen't want to loose me, and that if i can give him more chances. I know that this sounds ridiculous but... he treats awfully bad sometimes like he will get jealous and scream and tell me that im a liar, and im not.
Ive never cheatd on him or nothing, and i know that he hasnt cheated on me either. I just want this arguing to stop, i love him and my heart wont take it anymore if we continue to argue ove r non important reasons. I hope that you can help me doc. I love him, and i need him as much as he needs me. hopefully things will turn out good and fall in the right foot steps, dont get me wrong, im wrong at times also and i knowt that. well please help!! thanxxx.
Aura.
Hi Aura!
The key to any good relationship is compromise. Arguments cannot be avoided in relationships.
Don't let those arguments get the better of you. You've been with each other for so long and both your families love seeing you together, you have to make it work if you really love each other. There is a way to make him feel more secure with himself so he won't accuse you of anything anymore, but that is, if only you're up to it. You can have him check your phone and your other online accounts so he can be sure that you aren't cheating and you're not fooling around behind his back. Once he sees that there really isn't anything to worry about he'd think twice before accusing you again.
When you argue, don't raise your voice at him as this would only provoke him (and you as well) to continue on arguing and it would never stop. Instead, talk to him calmly and keep repeating that you love him (without raising you voice) Tell him lovingly how much you love him and how much you don't want to argue as it would hurt the two of you. It may seem hard and you have to have a lot of patience but in dealing with overly jealous boyfriends you must learn how to be be calm. Remind yourself and him also about how much the two of you love each other. When he starts getting jealous and starts screaming at you again, just stay quiet, wait for him to finish whatever it is that he's saying and tell him, calmly and with as much sweetness that you love him. If he calls you a liar after that, remind him of the things that you have been through.
The important part is about being calm and not raising your voice. Let him say what he wants to say and show him that you're not going to argue with him. Boys get irrationally jealous of the people you're close with most of the time especially if you're very pretty so it can't really be avoided. Hopefully if you show him and become more transparent to him, he'll see that there really isn't anything to worry about. Sometimes all these boys need is the reassurance that you love them and that there's no one else in the world for you. I hope this helps.
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